So, you and your ex are in the middle of a custody battle for your children, is joint custody for parents something you should even consider? Obviously each divorce case is different, and probably very difficult for everyone involved, but basically, joint custody is only a viable option when both parents are able to properly perform their duties as parents. More than this however, both parents must be able to communicate well with one another, as well as understand the daily routines of their children.
Now this can become very difficult indeed when parents share their children. The children themselves can easily start manipulating one parent against the other, and it is only when parents can discuss this to make sure that they are not being used by their children that joint custody can work well. It means that although the parents do not see eye to eye on everything (otherwise their would be no need for a divorce), they must learn to respect their ex, and support their decisions concerning their children. So communication is vitally important.
It is very easy to start criticizing the absent partner, blaming them for any thing that has gone wrong in the past, or even the present, and if negative feelings are present, their children will easily pick up on them, and even begin to criticize that parent themselves. This does not work well in joint custody for parents.
However, if the parents can communicate well between themselves, then the children can benefit tremendously. Although their parents no longer live together, they still see both parents roughly the same amount of time each week. They see their parents communicating and that can lead to a stronger sense of support for them, knowing that both parents are still their for them, what ever happens to the adults' relationship.
Of course, joint custody for parents can really only work if both parents live in the same city, or close by, so that the children do not have to change schools, and so that not too much driving is involved in their daily routines. Naturally, it depends on the employment of the adults too, whether they are out of town a lot, or work night shifts. But by far the biggest obstacle to joint custody, is parents unable to talk to one another, civilly! If you cannot hold a conversation with your ex without both of you storming out, or ending up throwing things, then joint custody for parents is not for you. It will be best for your children if custody is decided another way. Yes, it could make it very hard for you, but the courts will decide what is best for the children, and you have to abide by this decision.
However, what this does mean is that you absolutely must put your best case before the courts the first time if you wish to take custody of your children, with or without joint custody - no second chances here. To help you with this is a source I highly recommend, [http://www.usfreeads.com/1442619-cls.html]Child Custody Strategies where you will receive a great deal of information to help you thoroughly prepare your case in an orderly manner. If you need or want it, there is a support group for you too.
Al Jackson was a teacher, and saw first hand the negative impact of difficult divorces and child custody battles on the children. She is the author of the website [http://www.momslifeline.com]Moms Lifeline a site designed to help Moms in the various situations they find themselves.
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