How can parents decide on a custody and visitation plan?
Parents who separate should have a custody and visitation or parenting plan for deciding how they will share parenting responsibilities. A custody and visitation plan must be in writing and signed by both parties and a judge to be enforceable.
What if parents cannot agree on a custody and visitation plan?
If parents cannot agree on custody and visitation on their own they may go to court and ask a judge for a temporary order. The Court will first send them to Conciliation Court where a trained mediator tries to help the parties agree. In Los Angeles conciliation services are free. An appointment can be made by calling conciliation services at (213) 974-5524.
If the parties still cannot agree, the Court will make a temporary custody and visitation order that is in the best interests of the children. The temporary order will continue until the parties can reach an agreement or until custody and visitation is resolved after a trial.
If parents cannot agree on custody and visitation, they can also ask the court to appoint a mental health expert such as a psychologist to carry out a custody evaluation. A list of custody evaluators can be found at the Los Angeles Court's web site at www.lasuperiorcourt.org.
Developing a Plan
While it is difficult to make generalizations about the suitability of various parenting plans many experts agree that during the first years of life, it is important for young children to develop an attachment to a primary caretaker and recommend frequent but non-overnight visitation with the non-custodial parent for short periods of time. As the children grow older and are better able to develop multiple attachments longer periods of continuous overnight visitation is encouraged.
Consider the practical aspects of any plan
A first step in developing a plan is charting out the schedules of the children and both parents. This will help you make realistic choices based upon practical considerations. Take a calendar and chart out in a colored pen the activities of each of your children (e.g. when they leave and return from school/day care each day, when they go to different activities such as music lessons, when they have vacations etc.) Next, take a different colored pen and chart your activities and commitments. Include when you go to and return from work, go to meetings, go out with friends etc. With another colored pen do the same for the other parent. You should then compare both parents’ plans to see if there is any common ground.
The children’s best interests
When parents decide custody and visitation they should develop a plan around the needs and best interests of their children and not their needs or schedules. In other words, they should adjust the plan to the children, not the children to the plan. Parents should be looking at their children's need for love, emotional support and security. Parents should take into account their children's age, personality and experiences. Children will generally be better off when both parents are involved and participating in their upbringing.
Next you should consider who has historically been responsible for different commitments with the children and which parent is practically able to fulfill them in the future. Questions you should consider are:
• Who do the children turn to when they have a problem or need to share their feelings?
• Who does homework with the children?
• What do the children do on the weekends?
• Do the children spend time with relatives and who takes them?
• Who takes the children to medical appointments or picks them up in when they are sick?
• Who provides the children’s physical care, such as bathing, changing diapers, arranging for sitters, haircuts, feeding?
• How do you and your spouse discipline the children and set structure for them?
• What kind of personal attention do each of you give to the children, such as teaching problem solving, reading, playing together, sharing activities?
• Who is responsible for the children’s social activities, such as arranging birthdays, play dates, trick or treating, taking class trips, games, lessons, school plays etc?
Joint Custody
For older children one of the key issues is whether a joint custody is more appropriate than an arrangement where the non-custodial parent has alternate weekends and one or two overnights during the week. The answer will be different for each family. The parent’s relationship and their level of cooperation and also the children’s preferences can be as important as how much time the children physically spend with each parent.
The Legal Aspects of a Plan
Any parenting plan will have to make provision for who gets "legal" custody and who gets "physical" custody of the children. These are the terms that are used in agreements.
"Legal" custody means which parent gets to make important decisions about the children's education, religious upbringing, medical treatment and other legal decisions. If one parent gets to make these decisions they have "sole legal custody." If both parents get to make those decisions together, they
have "joint legal custody." It is rare for one parent to be granted sole legal custody unless there are issues of domestic violence and substance abuse or there is a history of the parents being unable to communicate. In deciding on issues relating to legal custody, form "Joint Legal Custody Attachment" FL-341 (E) which has been approved by the Judicial Council of California is helpful. It can be found at www.courtinfo.ca.gov/forms/.
"Physical" custody means who the children live with on a daily basis. A parent has "sole" physical custody if the primary residence of the child is with that parent. The non-custodial parent then has visitation rights. The parents have "joint" physical custody if the children live with each parent for significant periods of time during the week.
A custody and visitation plan should be consistent and detailed. It should spell out who gets the children when and where in enough detail so that it is easy to understand and enforce. Important questions are who has the children in the week and on the weekends? Who transports the children for exchanges and to activities? Who gets the children on holidays and vacations? In California, the Judicial Counsel has developed forms to be used when requesting custody and visitation. The forms "Child Custody and Visitation Attachment FL-311 and "Children's Holiday Schedule Attachment” can be found at www. Courtinfo.ca.gov/forms and are helpful in developing plans.
Sample physical custody plans
Some states have developed model parenting plans that take into account what is appropriate for children of different ages and stages of development. The Oregon Judicial Department has developed a “Basic Parenting Plan for Parents” that can be found at: http://www.ojd.state.or.us/osca/cpsd/courtimprovement/familylaw/parentingplan.htm.
The Supreme Court for the State of Arizona has also developed a model parenting plan that can be found at: www.supreme.state.az.us/dr/Text/ModelPTPlans.htm
The following samples are based on those parenting plans.
Birth to 12 months
Sample Language:
Commencing on _________, Parent A shall have physical custody of the minor child(ren) each week on Tuesday and Thursday from 4:30 p.m. to 7:30 pm. and Saturday from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. Parent A shall be responsible for picking up and dropping of the minor child(ren) at the residence of Parent B. Parent B shall have physical custody of the minor child(ren) at all other times not designated as Parent A’s time.
Comments:
At this young age, infants form a primary attachment to one parent and long periods of absence from the primary attachment figure may be traumatic. Parents should minimize the infant’s basic sleep, feeding and waking cycles.
Pre-schooler 3 – 5 years
The parties alternate weekends and the non-custodial parent has one evening or overnight during the week.
Sample Language:
A. Commencing on ___________, Parent A shall have physical custody of the minor child(ren) alternate weekends from Friday, after the end of school/child care/camp (or at 5:30 p.m. if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp), when Parent A shall pick up the child(ren) from school/child care/camps, or at Parent B’s residence if the child(ren) are not in school/child care, until Monday, at the start of school/child care (or at 8:00 a.m. if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp), when Parent A shall drop the minor child(ren) off at school/child care/camp or at Parent B’s residence if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp.
B. Commencing on ____________, Parent A shall have physical custody of the minor child(ren) each week from Wednesday, after the end of school/child care camp (or at 5:30 p.m. if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp), when Parent A shall pick up the child(ren) from school/child care/camp, or at Parent B’s residence if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp, until Thursday, at the start of school/child care/camp(or at 8:00 a.m. if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp), when Parent A shall drop the minor child(ren) off at school/child care/camp or at Parent B’s residence if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp.
C. Parent B shall have physical custody of the minor child(ren) at all other times not designated as Parent A’s time.
* Instead of referring to alternate weekends, a plan can refer to 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends of the month. This generally avoids any confusion about which parents has custody on any given weekend.
Comments:
It may be suitable where Parent B has not been very involved in the day to day care of the child and has a busy work schedule. Three to five year olds may show increased anxiety moving between parent’s homes. This does not necessarily reflect on whether the other parent is not a good parent or does not want to be with the other parent. Depending on the maturity of the child and the practicality of the exchanges these times can be negotiated so that Parent A only has the child one or two evenings in the week and has shorter or longer weekends.
“2:2:3” Joint Physical Custody for older children
The parties alternate weekends and each parent has the children two days in the week.
Sample Language:
A. Commencing on __________, Parent A shall have physical custody of the minor child(ren) each week from Monday, at the start of school/child care/camp (or at 8:00 a.m. if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp), when Parent B shall drop the minor child(ren) off at school/child care/camp, or at Parent A’s residence if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp, subject to paragraph C below, until Wednesday, at the start of school/child care/camp (or at 8:00 a.m. if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp), when Parent A shall drop the minor child(ren) off at school/child care/camp or at Parent B’s residence if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp.
B. Commencing on __________, Parent B shall have physical custody of the minor child(ren) each week from Wednesday, at the start of school/child care/camp (or at 8:00 a.m. if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp), when Parent A shall drop the child(ren) off at school/child care/camp or at Parent B’s residence if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp, until Friday, at the start of school/child care/camp (or at 8:00 a.m. if the children are not in school/child care/camp), when Parent B shall drop the child(ren) off at school/child care/camp or at Parent A’s residence if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp, subject to paragraph C below.
C. The parties shall alternate physical custody of the minor child(ren) during the weekends, from Friday, at the start the start of school (or at 8:00 a.m. if the children are not in school), until their return to school on Monday (or at 8:00 a.m. if the children are not in school) when the children shall be returned to their respective school or to the receiving parent’s residence, in the event the children are not in school.
Comments:
The child spends no longer than three days/nights away from either parent.
“2:2:5:5” Joint Physical Custody For Older Children
The parties alternate two and five day periods with the children. Each parent has two consecutive midweek overnights each week and alternate the weekends.
Sample Language:
A. In Week 1, commencing ________, Parent A shall have physical custody of the minor child(ren) each week from Monday, at the start of school/child care/camp (or at 8:00 a.m. if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp), when Parent B shall drop the minor child(ren) off at school/child care/camp, or at Parent A’s residence if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp, until Wednesday, at the start of school/child care/camp (or at 8:00 a.m. if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp), when Parent A shall drop the minor child(ren) off at school/child care/camp or at Parent B’s residence if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp.
B. In Week 1 and 2, commencing ________, Parent A shall have physical custody of the minor child(ren) on Friday, after the end of school/child care/camp (or at 5:30 p.m. if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp), when Parent A shall pick up the child(ren) from school/child care/camps, or at Parent B’s residence if the child(ren) are not in school/child care, until the following Wednesday, at the start of school/child care (or at 8:00 a.m. if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp), when Parent A shall drop the minor child(ren) off at school/child care/camp or at Parent B’s residence if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp.
C. After the conclusion of Week 2, the two week rotation shall commence again with the physical custody schedule set forth above for Week 1.
D. Parent B shall have custody of the children at all times not designated as Parent A’s time.
Comments: The works better for well adjusted children who have a good attachment to both parents. It allows for joint physical custody but each child is only away from the non-custodial parent for five days.
Alternating Weeks - Joint Physical Custody
Sample Language:
Commencing __________, and on alternate weeks thereafter, Parent A shall have physical custody of the minor child(ren) from Monday at the start of school/child care/camp, or from 12:00 noon if the child(ren) are not in school/child care/camp, until Parent A returns the child(ren) to school the following Monday at the commencement of school, or 12:00 noon if the child(ren) is not in school/child care/camp, when Parent A shall return the child(ren) to Parent B’s residence. Parent B shall have custody of the child(ren) at all other times.
Comments:
The children may need to have mid-week contact with the non-custodial parent. This schedule can be altered to provide for a mid-week evening or overnight with the non-custodial parent.
Sample Legal Custody Plans
In deciding on issues relating to legal custody, form "Joint Legal Custody Attachment" FL-341 (E) which has been approved by the Judicial Council of California is helpful. It can be found at www.courtinfo.ca.gov/forms/ Where both parents are cooperative and are able to communicate the following joint legal custody language can be used.
Sample Language:
The parties shall have joint legal custody of the child(ren). In exercising joint legal custody, the parties shall make every reasonable effort to foster feelings of affection between themselves and the child(ren). The parties shall cooperate and consult with one another so as to reach mutual agreement on all issues affecting the health, education and welfare of the children, including but not limited to the following:
(1) Enrollment or termination in a particular private or public school/child care/summer camp;
(2) Beginning or ending the regular practice of religion;
(3) Commencement of psychiatric, psychological or other mental health counseling or therapy;
(4) Authorizing the children’s drivers’ licenses;
(5) Passport applications;
(6) Enrollment in regular extracurricular activities;
(7) Non-emergency medical or dental treatment, other than routine check-ups.
Links
www.lasuperiorcourt.org
www.courtinfo.ca.gov/forms/
http://www.ojd.state.or.us/osca/cpsd/courtimprovement/familylaw/parentingplan.htm
www.supreme.state.az.us/dr/Text/ModelPTPlans.htm
www.warrenrshiell,.om
© 2006 Warren R. Shiell. All rights reserved.
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LAW OFFICES OF WARREN R. SHIELL
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The Law Offices of Warren R. Shiell devotes its practice solely to the field of family law. We handle all aspects of family and matrimonial law matters, including dissolution of marriage, separation, nullity, custody/visitation disputes, support, paternity, division and valuation of property.
Warren R. Shiell is a member of the California and New York Bar. He has won several cases at the New York Appellate Division. He graduated from Oxford University with an M.A. in law and attended the University of Southern California. He is a member of the Family Law section of the Los Angeles County Bar Association. He was a legal consultant on "The Guardian" on CBS. He has lectured and published articles on behalf of various local Bar Associations.
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